Since childhood, I have seen images in wood. As an artist, I try to enhance the image so others can enjoy the beauty that can be seen in many things if we just take the time to look. Life should not be about the art; it should be an art. 

In the solitude of the studio, I often think of the loss of loved ones. I try not to dwell on the loss but instead focus on the joy they brought into my life and remind myself to cherish each moment we get to be with family and friends. Our lives pass in a blink of an eye, so I ask myself, what is urgent? What is important? I’d like to thank my family and friends for helping me see what is important. (AGGP)

Carmen Haakstad
BFA, Artist

Whenever I create art or poetry, I always go by C.E. Condrotte. If you know me, you know I am many things – a kaleidoscope of colours, really. I have always been a champion for mental health, and so when I had to take a medical leave in 2018 for my mental health, it was a time for me to reflect on many things.

After 20 years of caregiving, surrounded by trauma, grief, loss and fatigue – I was spent. Compassion Fatigue and Vicarious Trauma directly impacted my mental health. Having never taken two weeks of consecutive vacation, let alone a medical leave, I was off for 3 ½ months recovering. I truly needed that time to heal. 

My psychologist knew I wrote poetry and loved to draw as a child. Along with other strategies, he suggested art therapy, which involves writing out and expressing my thoughts and feelings through words and colours. He helped me reconnect to old passions to express my experience as a caregiver and the toll it had taken on me. As images started to come into my imagination, I pulled out my pencil crayons to capture them. Then the words came to me, a little at a time. I was surprised by what I captured and could hardly believe it came from me.  I returned to work to serve the people I loved, healthier and wiser than before.

Sometimes, I find it difficult to share my art with others, but the Darkness to Light exhibition theme felt like the perfect opportunity. It may offer hope to others. Life can be challenging, but taking a break to look after your mental well-being is okay.

This art piece I created is inspired by addiction, trauma, and other darkness that comes along with deterring mental health. Sometimes, as you go through life, it feels like every traumatic experience is a dark hand that creeps up to drag you down into the darkness of your mind. 

As someone who has dealt with addiction and has had friends and family lost because of suicide, to me, this piece represents that no matter how much the darkness pulls at you, whether it be because of trauma, suicidal thoughts, or addictions, it’s important to always try to look towards the light. Even when life feels too much at times, there is no darkness without light. There is always hope. 

ABOUT THE ARTIST

My name is Nadine, and I am a 25-year-old artist from the Peace Region. Art has always been a big passion for me, it’s been the best way for me to convey my emotions in a healthier way than self-harm or using addiction as an escape from my feelings. As someone who has dealt with depression and an immense amount of anxiety since I was 13 years old, art has been a great outlet for me! My hope is one day my art will help someone else find the light in their darkness. 

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My series, People Paper, began with my introduction to photography in my first year of art school in 1997. Like a painter’s brush, my camera is a tool I use to explore and document the relationship between language, perception, and environment. I incorporate handwritten text in my work to infuse myself into the portrait. By placing the subjects in diverse settings, I combine elements that reflect my experiences captured in the poems.

Loving In Duality is one of the most difficult poems I have written over the last 20 years and captures the complexity of loving people who live with mental illness (including myself). It is dedicated to two instrumental teachers in my life, my resilient ex-husband and my beautiful friend, Delaine Lambert-English, who died by suicide in 2020 and will forever live in our hearts.

“Loving in duality is knowing life is not a polarity of light and shadow, a straight line or a circle. It is a series of infinite loops falling into each other. Excitement, fear, joy and entanglement. Confused and complex. Loving in duality is simply …love.” (Excerpt from the poem)

Painting and Electronic Dance Music (EDM) play a significant role in my mental health & wellness. This painting captures the euphoric escape from daily struggles through rhythmic, uplifting electronic beats. In the darkness, creativity and music illuminate the path.